the news and gossip got around

So remember Emotionless Handjob Boy? Let's call him M. He came into town a week or so ago and bragged about his conquest (read: me) to all his little buddies, who spread it around everywhere. I'm standing in a group of guy friends (and one obnoxious asshole) trying to defend my purity (futile) on Thursday, and this is how it went.

Obnoxious was calling me a booty call, and talking like he knew what happened, and so I went to clarify the situation by saying M only got a handjob. He scoffed like he knew that too, and then I went on to say that M was freakish in his emotionless recieving of said handjob. At this, Obnoxious and the band of guy friends decided it wasn't virginal M, it was me.

So now I'm not just a slut, I'm a "bad" slut. Amazing.

My jaw drops at the sad turn this conversation has taken, and I splutter for a few seconds about how I'm NOT a bad slut, I'm not even a slut!

This is totally useless, and they start gabbing (like little girls, I swear) about the OTHER rumours they've heard about me. Fan-bloody-tastic. As they compare notes, I'm completely dumbfounded, and trying to deny things left, right and center.

They decide on these three factoids:

1. I am a bad slut.
2. I take it up the ass.
3. I once fingered an ex up the ass.

1 I try to get rid of right away, which has no effect. 2 is sensitive, since to some people that's kinky and to others that's disgusting, so I don't know which to say. 3 reflects worse on him than on me, but I let that one just sort of fade off, because it's really too awkwardly gross to mention in company, ever, anyway.

Oh, and then on Wednesday I was talking about having or wanting a boyfriend or something, and this random-ass idiot from across the room yells "Boyfriend? I thought you were a lezzie!" Oh perfect. Shortly after I correct him, he wants to know if I'll blow him. This is my life, people.